


It Gets Better From Here

by rayofsonnshine



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 23:18:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11069139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayofsonnshine/pseuds/rayofsonnshine
Summary: Barba and Carisi go undercover at a gay bar to help save a kidnapped child, but how will they convince the bar that they are a couple?





	1. June 2, 2:06 pm

**Author's Note:**

> Borderline smut but mostly fluff.  
> also!! this is not connected to the previous fic I wrote! Carisi is a lot more emo in this one than in the last one lol.
> 
> Oh one more thing: of course this would never actually happen, but it's fun to throw the characters we know and love into situations they wouldn't otherwise be in. Don't take anything too seriously!

####  June 2, 2:06 pm 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea,” Olivia beckons for Barba and Carisi to sit down. 

Looking very uncomfortable, the two men glance at each other.

“Yeah, I’m not—“ Barba starts.

“It’s the only way we can find information about where our vic is being held,” Carisi interrupts. “Please, Lieu, time is running out.”

“You think I don’t know that? Why can’t you go with Fin, or literally anyone else?” The lieutenant takes her glasses off and runs a hand through her hair. 

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Detective?” Barba glares at Carisi and pulls him to the corner of the room. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? I can’t go undercover. Christ, Carisi, I’m a lawyer.”

“No, this is the only way, Counselor. Please, think about it,” Carisi looks at him with pleading eyes. “That poor kid is probably trapped in the dark. He’s probably cold and alone, and afraid. We need to find him."

Barba pauses, staring back at Carisi. “I can’t believe I’m saying this. Fine, I’ll do it. You owe me drinks afterwards."

“So, would you mind telling me exactly why I should authorize this undercover mission?” Liv glances at her watch. “And make it quick, the victim’s parents are in the waiting room with Amanda.”

“Alright, so, we know our vic has been associating with the bartender of the gay bar down on 21st, and we know that this bartender also does “private parties” for customers who pay him enough. We think our vic went to one of these parties before he disappeared, so if we can get into the belly of the beast, so to speak—“

Barba bites his lip. “Carisi can’t go in by himself—the private parties are for couples only. We fit the profile. Hypothetically, we are exactly the couple he’s looking for.” 

Carisi pulls a tattered piece of paper out of his vest. “Look at this ad for the gay bar we found online. It’s called the Bulge, by the way—“

“Yes, I know what it’s called, Carisi.” Olivia suppresses a smile.

“They’re looking for, uh,” Carisi turns red. “A, uh, a power bottom and a, er,”

Liv holds up her hand. “I saw the ad."

“According to Urban Dictionary, we fit the, uh, physical descriptions.”

“So you two actually looked into this?” Olivia stands up. “Alright, since we don’t have any other options, you can go.”

“Thanks, Lieu, we won’t let you down,” Carisi grins.

“Will that be all?" Barba was already halfway out the door.

“Just a second, Barba. The bar opens at 10 tonight and we need you in there by midnight. Meet us back in the squad room at 8 and we’ll get you ready.”

“Thank you, Liv.” Barba rushes out of the Lieutenant's office, leaving the door open behind him.

“And Carisi?”

Carisi struggles to tear his eyes away from Barba, who seems to be in a mild state of distress. “Yeah, Lieu?” 

“You and Barba, huh?”

“No, it’s—it’s not like that."

“Keep him safe. I don’t want to lose another ADA.”

Carisi stops at the door. “By the way, Lieu, I’ve heard some squad room talk about you. You and, god, what was the name, Cabot, I think?”

Olivia turns back to her desk and opens a drawer.

“Did—“ Carisi pauses, attempting to tread lightly. "I mean, it’s not my business, of course—“

“Nice try, Carisi.”

Carisi takes that as his cue to leave. “I’ll see you in a few hours, then. Thanks for your help.”

The door slams shut behind him, leaving Liv alone at her desk. She cradles an old squad picture in her hand.


	2. June 2, 2:15 pm

####  June 2, 2:15 pm 

“Counselor, wait up!”

Barba pushes past a group of officers and stops in front of the men’s restroom. “What?”

“I was just checking to see if you were okay."

“I’m fine,” Barba brushes past Carisi, attempting not to make eye contact. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Right, sorry, counselor.” Carisi, worried, watches him enter the restroom.

####  June 2, 8:11 pm 

“You’re late, Counselor. Is everything alright?” Amanda jogs alongside him to keep up.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m fine,” Barba rounds a corner and steps into the squad room. The squad is gathered around a table, and they all look up at him.

“Sorry I’m late,” he slams his briefcase on an empty desk. “I brought clothes.”

“Alright, Barba. Sit down.” Fin grabs a chair and pulls it up to table. “Since this is your first undercover mission, I guess we’ll have to go over what you gotta do.”

“So, the objective is to find our victim, James Smith. His last known location is the Bulge. When we investigated the place yesterday, we couldn’t find any info, but we do know that James was last seen getting into a black Toyota Highlander with tinted windows, and that there was a 500$ payment to the bartender made on our vic’s credit card the night of the disappearance.” Olivia begins pacing across the room. “We believe our victim is at an undisclosed location in which these “private parties”, which cost 500$, take place. So that’s where Barba and Carisi come in.”

“We’re a troubled couple who needs some, uh, excitement in the bedroom,” Carisi winks at Barba, who rolls his eyes in return. “I came up with some great characters for us, it’ll be fun."

Amanda grabs Olivia’s wrist and pulls her to the side of the room. “Why are you making Barba do this? I don’t think he’ll be ready. He’s a lawyer, Liv, not a detective.”

“Barba is a smart guy, Amanda. He’ll be able to pull it off,” Olivia says, though she feels like she's convincing herself more than Amanda. The two walk back over to the group. “So, we’ll be trailing the vehicle and keeping eyes on the gay bar. If you feel like you’re in danger, we’ll try to get you out as soon as we can.”

“Look, I see all of you worrying about me, but I promise I can do this. I’ll be fine.” Barba’s voice rings across the otherwise empty precinct, causing a brief moment of silence. Carisi eyes Barba, who seems to be dealing with the situation better than he had been a few hours prior. Barba catches his eye and they hold their gaze for a moment before withdrawing.


	3. June 2, 11:39 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS A LONG CHAPTER YOU'RE WELCOME

####  June 2, 11:39 pm 

Barba holds still as Carisi tapes a wire to his chest. “Shit,” he thinks to himself. “I should not have agreed to this.”

“All finished!” Carisi grins and pulls back, handing Barba the loose denim shirt he had packed in his briefcase. “You look cute,” he adds, gesturing towards his relaxed outfit.

“Why do you look the same as you always do?” Barba asks, eyeing his usual vest and slicked-back hair.

“What? I think I look good like this. Let me live, Rafi.”

Barba stands still, slightly stunned. Carisi calling him by his first name made his heart rate pick up. Christ, his Staten Island accent wasn’t half bad when it was saying his own name. 

“So, I’ve got our characters planned out. Since we’re supposed to be having trouble with our relationship, I figured, like, one of us—“

“Stop worrying so much, Detective.” Barba takes a deep breath. “All we need to do is convince the bartender that we’re in a sexually troubled relationship that needs to be fixed; presumably by these “private parties”."

“Alright, you ready?” Amanda opens the back of the van, where the two had been changing.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Barba hops out of the van, Carisi following suit. Amanda hands him a pair of glasses, the ones Barba recognizes as the ones with a camera lens hidden in the frame. 

“Alright…” Barba pauses for a second, then swallows, attempting to get into character. “Sonny, let’s go.”

Carisi grins widely at Barba, who throws his arm loosely around him. 

As the odd looking couple walk hesitantly towards the flashing sign labeled “The Bulge”, Barba glances back towards where the squad is hidden. Amanda and Fin are in an unmarked black car while Olivia is adjusting her headphones in the van. 

“I must warn you, “Sonny”. I’m a pretty good actor. Don’t let it throw you off.”

“Is that a challenge?” Carisi smiles as they approach a heavy-set bouncer.

Carisi opens his mouth to speak, but Barba cuts him off.

“Hey…” he smiles coyly at the bouncer, who stares at him, unmoving.

“Would you knock it off, Rafi? This is our first night out in weeks, and all you can do is make eyes at the fucking bouncer?” Carisi hands the bouncer his ID, as does Barba.

“Calm down Sonny, I’m only teasing,” Barba traces a finger across Carisi’s chest.

The bouncer grunts and hands them back their IDs. Carisi runs and opens the door for Barba, who walks in confidently, leaving Carisi to trail behind him.

“Wait, Rafi, slow down,” Carisi jogs to catch up to Barba, who seems to have become a different person. Barba stops and glares at him, hand on one hip. 

“Oh, would you relax?” Barba says loudly, making a group of guys nearby eye at the two. “Live a little, Sonny!” He winks, grabbing Carisi’s hand and pulling him onto the dance floor. 

Carisi’s eyes widen. Christ, it’s hard to believe the cute guy with a scruffy beard in front of him was the same person who was all-business and nonchalant at the precinct. 

“Put your hands on my hips,” Barba whispers. “You look like a lost puppy.” Carisi obliges, though slightly hesitantly. “Move closer to me, detective, do you even know how to dance?”

“Sorry, sorry.” Carisi mutters as he moves a lot closer. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what?” Barba asks, biting his lip teasingly before whispering “I’m just trying to make it seem realistic, Detective. It’d help if you cooperate.” 

Carisi stares at him as Barba grabs his hand again and pulls him over to the bar. 

“Shit, that’s our suspect.” Carisi thinks as they approach a short, skulking man who was wiping the same glass over and over again with a dirty rag. 

“Excuse me, could we get two martinis?” Barba drawls, drumming his fingers lightly on the counter. 

The bartender smiles, showing bright yellow teeth. “Of course, gentlemen.” He keeps a beady eye on Barba while he makes the martinis. Barba smiles back at the bartender, but quickly stops when he sees Carisi's face. The out-of-place detective feels a knot tightening in his stomach. Damn, was he…jealous?

“Drink it.” Barba hisses at Carisi.

“Oh, shit, right.” Carisi mumbles, taking a tentative sip.

“So, how long have you two been together?” The bartender sidles next to them, keeping his eyes mostly on Barba, who seems to be enjoying the attention.

“It’s been a while, maybe two years?" Carisi's hardly paying attention to the conversation. Rather, his eyes are fixated on Barba's hand, which was resting lightly on Carisi's thigh. 

"I'm Rafael, and this is my boyfriend, Dominick."

"Yeah, uh, you can call me Sonny. We were under the impression there was a, uh, private party of some sort going on tonight?"

The bartender glances at him for a moment before fixating his gaze once more on Barba. "Oh, the private party? Let me talk to my associates and we'll see if we can squeeze you two in for tonight. 750$. Cash only."

"What?" Carisi asks, sounding braver than he felt. "The ad said 500." 

"We got a new plaything in last week. Fresh, y'know."

Barba nods knowingly and smirks at Carisi. "Give him the cash, Sonny." 

Carisi hands over the money and the bartender tucks the wad of bills into his breast pocket. 

"The party isn't for another hour. Do not leave the building. Meet me out back and we'll take you two. Have fun." He smirks and turns away. 

"Let's go dance, Sonny." Barba says, grinning. He pulls Carisi over to the dance floor. 

"Counselor, calm down, we've gotta tell the squad—" 

"Don't look to your left. There's a couple of tough looking guys checking us out, I think they're with the bartender. They're probably checking if we're—"

"Don't finish that sentence," Carisi says uncomfortably. "What do we do?"

"Sonny, please relax a little, I just want to have some fun," pleads Barba, making sure he was loud enough for the bartender's cohorts to hear. 

"Alright, alright," Carisi mumbles gruffly. He grabs Barba's waist and pulls him closer, close enough to smell Barba's cologne. 

"Damn, this cologne is probably more expensive than my rent. But it smells really good." Carisi thinks. They sway awkwardly to the music for a moment. 

"Shit, I think one of them is coming over here." Barba whispers. 

Carisi feels something wet against his lips. He blinks and feels Barba kissing him, his arms draped over the shocked detective's shoulders. He closes his eyes and kisses back, his heart bursting. He drags a hand roughly through Barba's hair and lets out a muffled moan.


	4. June 3, 12:05 am

####  June 3, 12:05 am 

“Do we have eyes inside?” Amanda radios Liv, who's staring at the computer screen in front of her.

“Uh, yeah, we do.” Liv answers after a moment.

“Is Barba holding up in there?” Fin asks.

“See for yourself.” 

Fin grabs his phone and pulls up the live video from Carisi’s glasses.

“Holy shit.”

####  June 3, 12:06 am 

Barba pushes Carisi away from him suddenly, making him hit the wall of the bar. If he had opened his eyes then, he would've seen Barba, with hands pressed against the wall in front of him, leaning in again for another kiss.

"Knock it off, you two." A voice rings out, causing Carisi's eyes to bolt open in surprise. It's one of the men who was with the bartender, his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. "Save it for the party. I'm your escort."

Carisi wipes away a trickle of saliva running down his chin. "Are we leaving now?"

"Follow me." The man begins winding through the crowd, leaving a stunned, confused Carisi and a very satisfied Barba. 

"Hope you enjoyed the show,” Barba winks at a pair of guys who had been watching from the bar. 

They follow the man out of the bar and step into a black Toyota Highlander, just like the one Olivia had described. Two other couples were already sitting in the back, leaving Carisi and Barba to squeeze into the middle seat. 

“Hello gentlemen, I’m Rafael.” Barba turns and gently brushes a stray strand of hair off Carisi’s forehead.

Carisi clears his throat. “Uh, hey, I’m Sonny.”

The other men introduce themselves, leaving Carisi to stare out the window and pray that the rest of the squad hadn’t seen the kiss— and that they were following the car. 

####  June 3, 12:08 am 

“Alright, they’re…they’re leaving. Rollins, Fin, go ahead and follow them. I’ll be behind you.” Liv pulls her eyes away from the camera.

“Barba’s really committing.” Amanda mutters, still watching the live feed while Fin begins to tail the car. 

Fin turns right sharply, sending Rollins crashing into the side of the car. “Sorry, Amanda. What are they doing now?”

“Hell if I know. Barba’s got his arm around Carisi. He looks very--" Amanda tilts the phone so Fin can see better.

Fin glances over. "Comfortable." 

“The camera went out for a few seconds, and the next thing I know, Barba and Carisi are going at it. They better have a good explanation once we get them out of there,“ Liv drums her fingers on the wheel as she waits at a red light.

“Well, it didn't hurt. Looks like they're not under much suspicion from anyone in the car.”

“Alright, enough talk. The car just stopped. We’re at the intersection between 38th Street and 9th Avenue.” Fin pulls over and cranes his neck to see the live feed from the phone.

“Alright, wait a minute before busting them. Let’s see if our vic is inside.”


	5. June 3, 1:16 am

####  June 3, 1:16 am 

The car slows to a stop as Carisi squeezes Barba’s thigh as a form of reassurance.

“So,” one of the men says. He’s short and is wearing a very large pair of glasses. “Let’s get you inside, then.”

The group of men stumble through the darkness towards a small brick townhouse. The bartender, who had apparently been driving the car, pulls out a set of keys and opens the door. It swings open, and they file inside.

The bartender spins another set of keys around his finger and gestures to a luxurious set of couches. “Please sit. I’ll be back soon.” He exits down a dark hallway.

Barba glances towards Carisi and sits down, patting his knee. “Come sit here Sonny,” he purrs, biting his lip. Carisi does as he is told. He allows Barba to run his hands down his chest as he glances around the room, suddenly remembering that he was filming everything with his camera.

“Oh god, this is so hot,” a voice says next to Carisi, who turns, startled, to look at another couple. 

“Sorry,” he exclaims, grinning nervously at the others. “I sort of forgot there were other people here.”

“Is this your first time at a private party?” The man with large glasses asks.

“Uh, yeah, actually. We’re beginners at this sort of thing.”

“No problem,” the man chuckles. “There’s a first time for everything. We’re waiting for the boy to come upstairs now. Usually we have our own fun up here while we wait.”

Barba stares at Carisi, looking slightly malicious. 

“Hm, if it’ll be a while, we might as well—“ Carisi is interrupted by another kiss. Barba’s tongue snakes between Carisi’s lips, making Carisi recoil in surprise.

“Relax, Sonny,” Barba grins. "You're always so tense.” Barba begins kissing Carisi’s neck, leaving a purplish mark and making him squirm.

The sound of a door slamming shut down the hallway causes Carisi to jump. The bartender was back, this time accompanied by a tall, skinny boy who looked around 16 years old. Barba nudges Carisi in the ribs. The boy was bruised and had a black eye as well as a pair of what looked like bite marks on his shoulders. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but the pants he was wearing were torn and looked dirty. 

“Well, go ahead.” The bartender pushes the boy roughly towards one of the other couples. The man with the glasses begins kissing him, rubbing against his crotch.

Barba and Carisi glance at one another, then stare in shock as the front door caves in. Olivia, Fin and Amanda run inside the townhouse, each wielding a handgun.

“Everybody down, now!” Fin yells. The bartender turns around and starts running. Olivia chases him, shouting something about the NYPD. 

“Alright everyone, hands up.” Amanda and Fin begin handcuffing the men while Olivia walks back, leading the bartender by the shoulder. Amanda places her jacket on the boy and turned to Barba and Carisi.

“I said, hands up.”

“We didn’t do anything, we were just—“

“Hands up, now.” Olivia yells, brandishing her gun at them. “And get off each other, for God’s sake.”

Carisi looks down and realizes he's still on Barba’s lap. Embarrassed, he allows himself to be handcuffed.

####  June 3, 3:17 am 

“That was quite a show you put on there.” Olivia says, uncuffing Barba and Carisi. “Want to explain what happened?”

“Whatever happened,” Carisi begins, pacing around Olivia’s office. “It worked. Now we’ve got the guy running the prostitution ring, and we saved that kid.”

“So none of that was real?” Olivia asks, raising an eyebrow. “You really did all that undercover?”

Barba finally speaks for the first time since the mission. “I told you I could do it.”

“We did what we had to do, Lieu.” Carisi mumbles, staring at his feet.

“Alright, well, good job. Hope you’re not too shaken after all that,” Olivia stands up and opens her office door. “You two should go get some sleep. Goodnight.”

Carisi nods. “‘Night, Lieu.”

Olivia closes the door to her office, leaving Carisi and Barba standing awkwardly in the empty precinct.

“So…” Carisi trails off, grabbing his coat off his desk chair.

“You promised me a drink afterwards, “Sonny”.”

“Come back to my place, I don’t really want to go to a bar. It’s late, y’know.”

“And here I was thinking it was time for Sunday brunch,” Barba smiles at Carisi. A genuine smile, not like the ones from the club.


	6. June 3, 4:06 am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the longest and the best (in my opinion) + THE MOST EMO CHAPTER 
> 
> thank you for reading!! <3

####  June 3, 4:06 am 

Carisi pours another scotch for Barba and sits down on his bed next to him. Carisi lives in a studio, a small one, but with a good view of the bay. Though messy, it's somewhat charming. 

“Sorry I don’t have, like, a couch or anything. I usually don’t have many guests.” Carisi mumbles.

“What about Ms. 34B?” Barba asks (rather boldly considering he was only on his second glass of scotch).

“Damn, who told you about that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Carisi grunts in response, stirring his drink with a pen absentmindedly.

“So?”

“That’s my sister. Yeah, yeah, I shouldn’t’a let her use my work computer, but she wanted me to take her bra shopping and I told her to go online.”

“So, to clarify, you’re not in a relationship?”

“Why do you care so much? You’ve never shown any interest towards me before now.”

“Now’s as good a time as any.”

Carisi downs the rest of his scotch and walks back to his liquor cabinet. “I have a dumb question to ask.” he says quietly, pouring more scotch into his glass.

“What’d you say?”

“I said, I have a dumb question to ask.” He walks back to his bed and sits down next to Barba. 

“Alright, what?”

“Why--” he bites his lip. “Why did you kiss me?”

Barba stares into his near-empty glass. “Which time?”

“The second time. In the townhouse. We— we didn’t have to, but we did anyway. Why?”

“I’m sorry, Carisi, it just—“ Barba pauses. “It felt right.”

“So you’re saying waiting for a child prostitute to come fuck all those horrible guys made you want to kiss me?”

Barba smirks, still lost in the dregs of his scotch. “No, I mean, with us, pretending to be a couple. You were sitting on my lap. I was lost in the moment.”

Carisi hesitates. “So, you—you actually wanted to? That wasn’t acting?”

Barba drinks the rest of his scotch and sits on the bed, cradling the glass in his hands awkwardly. 

“It felt good, y’know. You’re pretty good at kissing.”

Barba grins. “Telling someone that they’re a good kisser? Christ, Sonny, you’re hopeless.”

“You’re a good actor, too. I thought you were going to fuck everything up, no offense.”

“Hm, none taken. I was nervous, but I warned you. I am pretty good at acting."

"Where'd you learn how to act like that, anyway?" 

“I’m a lawyer, Carisi. You’ve got to know how to convince your audience, whether it be adoring fans or a courtroom jury.”

“You should give me some tips. I was off my game tonight.” Carisi glances down and notices Barba’s hand creeping up his thigh. 

He lets the hand drift up slowly until he catches Barba’s eye.

“Counselor, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“You’re still calling me Counselor? Carisi, I kissed you. With tongue! I think we’re past that.”

“Well, if I can’t call you Counselor anymore, guess you’ll have to start calling me Sonny.”

“No one else does,” Barba retorts.

It’s quiet for a moment, leaving the two to listen to the traffic 15 floors below. 

Carisi breaks the silence. “You knew how to flirt with those guys. You were good at it.”

“I know.”

Quiet again.

Carisi takes his jacket off, revealing a hickey on the side of his neck.

“Did Liv notice?” Barba asks.

Carisi feels the mark. The thought of Barba leaving the purplish reddish bruise makes his fingers jump back, as if the hickey had given him an electric shock. “If—if she did, she didn’t say anything.” 

The room goes quiet again, both detective and lawyer lost in thought. 

“It was kind of fun, y’know.”

“What? The bar?”

“Believe it or not, I’ve never been to one before. A gay one, I mean. I assume you have?”

Barba grins and drums his fingers on the glass, making a light tinkling sound. “None of your business.”

Carisi feels Barba’s hand, still squeezing his thigh lightly. He looks up at Barba, who's barely visible in the dark room. The individual strands of his hair are illuminated by the bright lights from the city shining through the window behind him. 

"God, you're beautiful." Carisi whispers. 

Suddenly, they’re kissing. Carisi’s heart is pounding out of his chest as Barba runs his hands down his body, reaching down and unbuttoning Carisi's vest.

“Wait, Rafi,” Carisi pulls away, panting loudly. “Rafi, stop, we— we can’t. I’m straight.”

Barba shrugs. “Your choice.” 

He grabs his coat and sets his glass down on the desk next to Carisi’s bed. He walks over to the window looking out onto the bay, towards Staten Island. The lights from the city outline Barba’s figure as he stands silently, watching cars move below them. Carisi sits up, having been pushed flat onto the bed during their third kiss of the night.

“Rafi, I’m sorry.”

A long pause.

“It’s okay.”

Another pause. It seems to go on forever.

“Does anyone else know you’re gay?”

Silence falls upon the room like a blanket.

“Liv might. She’s pretty good at picking up signals. Otherwise, no one.”

“What about Fin and Amanda?”

“They both think I was acting.”

“Oh,” Carisi murmurs.

It’s quiet again.

Carisi gets up and stands next to Barba. Illuminated by the neon lights of New York City, he grabs Barba’s shoulder, spinning him around. Barba looks into his eyes and now they’re kissing once again.

This time, it feels right.


End file.
